Came down with a bug last week and only started to feel human yesterday, so I thought a run would help shift the last of it. Did my longest run so far, I literally ran until my legs turned to jelly and I went dizzy. I ended up lay on the floor trying to overcome a panic attack as I couldn’t breathe or see properly but despite that a coastal run blew away the cobwebs and made me feel like I had achieved something.
It was a quiet run and there was hardly anyone about, which is very much my kind of run. Pushing myself and getting out of my comfort zone is getting out there for a run or hike but right now it has to be somewhere quiet with very few people about as groups of strangers still sends my mental health spiralling and causes my PTSD to go worse and also triggers more flashbacks than I usually deal with, so it’s too much for me right now. I’m great with groups of people I know and feel safe with I’m just not there yet to push myself further but I will get there. Planning ahead really helps but I still can’t plan for everything and some things slip through the cracks. This time it was becoming dehydrated as I don’t have a running vest to carry fluids while I run yet. This is something I’m going to have to move up my priority list if I want to do another long run, so I will get saving for one.
Proud of myself for continuing to push my boundaries by trying somewhere new to run and giving it everything I had in the tank. My body and mind will get stronger and I know it is going to be a long journey. I am working very hard on accepting that recovery is going to take time but as long as I keep trying I will eventually get there. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #complextrauma #running #runningmotivation #coastalrun #runningrecovery #freshair #pushyourlimits #keepgoing #tryingmybest

After a week of not running I got myself back out there. Super proud of myself because it’s taken me days to push myself back out the door.
I struggle massively to get out and exercise I have to have loads of things in place and it’s a whole thing just to force myself outside. The promise I made to myself that I will push myself this year to improve my mental health is thankfully still the loudest voice. The self doubt, anxiety, darkness and trauma are still extremely loud and I battle with poor mental health constantly but the important thing is that I’m still fighting, fighting for myself. None of this is easy at times it feels impossible but I don’t allow myself to give up on myself. If you are struggling with your mental health remember you are worth fighting for and fight for yourself, just a little win makes all the difference. You’ve got this and you are so worth it, keep going and keep fighting for you . #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #ptsdrecoveryjourney #complextrauma #running #runningmotivation #thisgirlcan #thisgirlcanrun #positivity #keepgoing #youareworthit #youmatter #fightforyou

Two months of not smoking, that’s huge for me. Still very much taking it a day at a time and still using nicotine mints and gum but even that is getting gradually less. Been trying to work on running faster so I’ve been doing shorter faster runs. Can’t say I’m getting the same benefit from it mental health wise as it was supposed to be about escaping into my runs to switch off I’m actually not sure how it ended up the way it has. I do want to beat my 5k PB but once I achieve that I can go back to enjoying my runs again. I’m honestly unsure that it’s the right move for me as my mental health has took a nose dive, the 2nd morning was brutal it took about an hour to get out the door and I had sat crying for 20 mins then cried during my run. It then didn’t help getting laughed at by some girl running the opposite way with her mate, it’s the 2nd time this has happened since I started back on the 1st January.
So to all you fit, fast, skinny birds good for you that you look great and are fab runners. Not all of us are like you, yes I’m fat and awkward but I’m having a go and working ridiculously hard to get out the door to run and improve my physical and mental health. So perhaps think twice before giving a snide look and laughing, try and put yourself in my shoes. To the beautiful humans that smile and encourage thank you so very much these small interactions make difficult days brighter.
Still going and still trying to improve my life and mental health . #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #running #runningmotivation #runningtherapy #bekind #thisgirlcanrun #keepgoing #staystrong #positivevibes

A good breakfast for energy, bright sunshine for motivation, and off I went for a short running circuit!

I pushed a bit on 3 km to work on my speed because if I want to improve, sometimes I just have to go all in...

Even with the exercise my mental health is still a major battleground. The endorphines are a huge help as none of the many many medications I’ve tried have worked for me, they actually made me feel way worse.
I still have to plan and put things in place so that I can force myself out the door and even then it can all go to pot. So I’m having to respect my limitations whilst trying to push myself as hard as I am able. I was supposed to run yesterday but it took my two hours to force myself out of bed and I couldn’t force myself out that door no matter how hard I tried it was all too much. I though today would be the same as I couldn’t get myself out of my bed and face the world, it took an hour to get me out of the door and I almost turned around and went back home a few times. I truly pushed myself to my limit today mentally and physically every step was hard fought for so I’m really proud to of ran 11.5k running until my legs could go no further and I ran my fastest 10k.
Fighting against PTSD and complex trauma is a beast, one that frequently brings me to my knees but one I keep fighting anyway. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #complextrauma #complextraumarecovery #running #runningmotivation #runningtherapy #10k #thisgirlisonfire #thisgirlcan #thisgirlcanrun

Gettin it done on a cold winter’s day. #running #runningmotivation #run #getoutside #optoutside #strava #hokaoneone #hoka #timetofly

Sunday long run done 90 minutes easy pace #running #sundaylongrun #sundayrun #longrun #stravarunning #loverunning #runningmotivation #runningfitness #runnersofmastodon #mastorunners #oldguysrule #oldguysrun