Seek community with people who feel safe:
actually warm, stable, secure, NOT upsetting, worrying, or 'wrong'. ("Oh, I want to trust them, but..." then DON'T. "But what about--" NO.
If you *need* something from them to survive or help someone else, take the risks you think you can survive the worst outcomes of sustainably. But otherwise, please value yourself and your wellbeing. If not, please value yourself because I do.)
TRUST YOUR GUT.
Yes, your gut *can* be wrong. Your gut can be racist, sexist, or otherwise shitty. It can keep you from connecting with people who mean well but can't match your expectations while trying to help.
But it's among the best advice I can give.
It's not easy to tell who is safe(r) or not; I'm sorry. I wish it were easy.
It's not your fault if you get it wrong! That's the point of being young and inexperienced: you haven't been alive long enough to experience what you need to know to stay alive and healthy(ish) yet.
You should never have to figure this out alone.
http://mermaidsuk.org.uk/