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#theonion

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Southern Libtard<p>Sometimes The Onion hits too close to the truth to be considered satire.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/ICE" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>ICE</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a></p><p><a href="https://theonion.com/every-trait-disqualifying-ice-agent-from-previous-jobs-ideal-for-current-one/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/every-trait-disqu</span><span class="invisible">alifying-ice-agent-from-previous-jobs-ideal-for-current-one/</span></a></p>
FunHouse Radio<p>► <a href="https://FunHouseRadio.com" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">FunHouseRadio.com</span><span class="invisible"></span></a> &lt;-- TUNE IN<br><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/meme" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>meme</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/stupid" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>stupid</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/lol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>lol</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/absurd" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>absurd</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/satire" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>satire</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/water" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>water</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>sarcasm</span></a></p>
ZeroCool<p><strong>Ted Cruz Assures Texans He Working Tirelessly To Get Vacation Refunded</strong></p> <p><a href="https://lemmy.ca/post/47736643" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">lemmy.ca/post/47736643</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
RFanciola<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://web.brid.gy/r/https://rollingstone.com/" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>rollingstone.com</span></a></span> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a> is in big troubles...</p>
The Onion<p>Trump Orders His Face Added To The Pep Boys Logo</p><p>WASHINGTON—Insisting that he deserved a place alongside the iconic visages of the auto supply company’s founders, President Donald Trump issued an executive order Tuesday adding his face to the Pep Boys logo. “After all my tremendous work on behalf of American car owners, many have said that I should have my image up there with […]<br>The post Trump Orders His Face Add…<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/trump-orders-his-face-added-to-the-pep-boys-logo/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/trump-orders-his-</span><span class="invisible">face-added-to-the-pep-boys-logo/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>Tile Store Offended By Sponsored Little League Team Celebrating Win At Pizza Place Instead</p><p>ITHACA, NY—Scoffing at the idea that the players would be able to properly honor their victory anywhere else, the owner of local tile&nbsp;store&nbsp;All Stone and Tile was reportedly offended Tuesday that the&nbsp;Little&nbsp;League baseball team he sponsored had celebrated its win at a&nbsp;pizza place ins…<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/tile-store-offended-by-sponsored-little-league-team-celebrating-win-at-pizza-place-instead/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/tile-store-offend</span><span class="invisible">ed-by-sponsored-little-league-team-celebrating-win-at-pizza-place-instead/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>Michael Jordan’s Former Chicagoland Mansion Listed On Airbnb</p><p>A suburban mansion once home to NBA legend Michael Jordan is now available to rent on Airbnb, boasting seven bedrooms, 17.5 bathrooms, infinity pool, movie theater, cigar lounge, salon, full-size basketball court, and more, costing more than $100,000 for a seven-night stay. What do you think?<br>The post Michael Jordan’s Former Chicagoland Mansio…<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/michael-jordans-former-chicagoland-mansion-listed-on-airbnb/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/michael-jordans-f</span><span class="invisible">ormer-chicagoland-mansion-listed-on-airbnb/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>Insecure Woman Doesn’t Like Eating In Front Of Surveillance State</p><p>LOS ANGELES—Attributing her behavior to insecurity about the government, local woman Kirsten Sears told reporters Monday that she did not like eating in front of the surveillance state. “I try to remember the government is more interested in my ideology than my macronutrients, but still, every time, I get so embarrassed,” said Sears,…<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/insecure-woman-doesnt-like-eating-in-front-of-surveillance-state/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/insecure-woman-do</span><span class="invisible">esnt-like-eating-in-front-of-surveillance-state/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>Completely Charmless Flower Girl Walks Directly Down Aisle</p><p>CANYON LAKE, TX—Remarking that the 3-year-old didn’t even come close to stealing the show at a recent family wedding, witnesses reported Monday that they were unimpressed when a completely charmless flower girl walked directly down the aisle. “Sure, she did her job, but she utterly failed to delight us with any adorable toddling, spinning, or […]…<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/completely-charmless-flower-girl-walks-directly-down-aisle/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/completely-charml</span><span class="invisible">ess-flower-girl-walks-directly-down-aisle/</span></a></p>
Tim_Eagon<p><a href="https://theonion.com/new-evidence-suggests-ancient-egyptians-only-ever-visit-1821874775/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/new-evidence-sugg</span><span class="invisible">ests-ancient-egyptians-only-ever-visit-1821874775/</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://dice.camp/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://dice.camp/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>ICE Has Gall To Leave Raided Restaurant Negative Review</p><p>SAN DIEGO—Following a surprise restaurant raid Friday in which dozens of employees were taken into custody, witnesses reported that on top of everything else, the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents responsible for the violent arrests had the gall to leave a negative review. “It takes a lot of nerve to complain about slow service after […]<br>The p…<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/ice-has-gall-to-leave-raided-restaurant-negative-review/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/ice-has-gall-to-l</span><span class="invisible">eave-raided-restaurant-negative-review/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lorde</p><p>New Zealand singer-songwriter Lorde has released Virgin, her fourth studio album. The Onion sat down with the artist to discuss identity, inspiration, and what’s next. The Onion: How has your music evolved as you’ve gotten older? Lorde: When I was younger I was really intimidated by the black keys on the piano, but now I […]<br>The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lorde&nbsp; a…<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-lorde/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/the-onions-exclus</span><span class="invisible">ive-interview-with-lorde/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>Study Finds Tiny Nose Robots Can Be Used To Clean Sinuses</p><p>Researchers in China claim that swarms of medical nano-robots the size of a speck of dust could someday be used to clean out infected human sinuses after successfully testing the technology in the nasal cavities of animals. What do you think?<br>The post Study Finds Tiny Nose Robots Can Be Used To Clean Sinuses appeared first on The Onion.<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/study-finds-tiny-nose-robots-can-be-used-to-clean-sinuses/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/study-finds-tiny-</span><span class="invisible">nose-robots-can-be-used-to-clean-sinuses/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>Royal Train To Be Decommissioned</p><p>King Charles will retire the “royal train,” a private rail line established in 1840 to transport members of the royal family across Britain, in an attempt to modernize the monarchy and cut down on costs. What do you think?<br>The post Royal Train To Be Decommissioned appeared first on The Onion.<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/royal-train-to-be-decommissioned/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/royal-train-to-be</span><span class="invisible">-decommissioned/</span></a></p>
Variety<p>‘The Onion’ Launches Kenneth Cole Apparel Collection Inspired by Satire Site’s Funniest Headlines<br><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Variety" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Variety</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/News" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>News</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a></p><p><a href="https://variety.com/2025/shopping/news/the-onion-headline-collection-shop-online-1236446948/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">variety.com/2025/shopping/news</span><span class="invisible">/the-onion-headline-collection-shop-online-1236446948/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>What’s In Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill</p><p>President Donald Trump’s budget megabill is in the House of Representatives after being narrowly passed by the Senate. Here are the key items in “The One Big Beautiful Bill Act.” Funding for something called “The Facility.” Smaller, phone booth–sized detention boxes on every American street corner. Coupon for “buy two get one free” 12-packs of […]<br>The post What’s In Trump’s Big Beautiful Bil…<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/whats-in-trumps-big-beautiful-bill/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/whats-in-trumps-b</span><span class="invisible">ig-beautiful-bill/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>Killer Tune</p><p>The post Killer Tune appeared first on The Onion.<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/killer-tune/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">theonion.com/killer-tune/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
The Onion<p>Study Finds Curative Power Of Prayer Limited To Genital Warts</p><p>CHICAGO—Emphasizing the constraints of God’s healing hands, a new study published Thursday in the Journal Of The American Medical Association found that the curative power of prayer was limited exclusively to genital warts. “Our data revealed that while people attempt to cure a host of medical conditions by praying, the only ailment it was …<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/study-finds-curative-power-of-prayer-limited-to-genital-warts/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/study-finds-curat</span><span class="invisible">ive-power-of-prayer-limited-to-genital-warts/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>The Onion’s Summer Box Office Preview</p><p>The post The Onion’s Summer Box Office Preview appeared first on The Onion.<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/the-onions-summer-box-office-preview/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/the-onions-summer</span><span class="invisible">-box-office-preview/</span></a></p>
The Onion<p>Stephen Miller Informed Wife Will Be Working Late On Baby For Elon Again</p><p>The post Stephen Miller Informed Wife Will Be Working Late On Baby For Elon Again appeared first on The Onion.<br><a href="https://bots.defencegeeks.net/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a><br><a href="https://theonion.com/stephen-miller-informed-wife-will-be-working-late-on-baby-for-elon-again/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/stephen-miller-in</span><span class="invisible">formed-wife-will-be-working-late-on-baby-for-elon-again/</span></a></p>