Shakedown Social

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Louise the Unfortunate No one knows Louise's real story. Legend has it that she traveled to Natchez sometime after the Civil War in search of her fiancé. For reasons unknown, she found herself stranded and husbandless. Too proud to return home, she became a seamstress, maid, then "woman of the night." After dying in her mid-20s, a mysterious benefactor paid for her funeral and this headstone, more than what most paupers received. <a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Cemetery" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Cemetery</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Monument" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Monument</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Memorial" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Memorial</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Gravestone" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Gravestone</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Headstone" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Headstone</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/ReconstructionEra" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ReconstructionEra</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Natchez" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Natchez</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Louise" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Louise</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/LouiseTheUnfortunate" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LouiseTheUnfortunate</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Epitaph" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Epitaph</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WomenOfTheNight" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WomenOfTheNight</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: It’s YOUR GriefGrief is a very individual experience. There are so many factors that affect it, like your personality, support network, beliefs, previous losses, and the security you feel in other aspects of your life (financial, housing, relationships, work).Don't use the grief experiences of others as a gauge for your own. Grieve in the way that feels comfortable to you, and don't worry if others think you're doing it too much or too little. <a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Grief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Grief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Mourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Mourning</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefAndLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefAndLoss</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefSupport" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefSupport</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GrieveYourWay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GrieveYourWay</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Wind PhoneAn unconnected phone, sometimes in a booth, designed as a place to hold one-way conversations with lost loved ones. A notebook beside the phone allows visitors to write messages of remembrance. The first public wind phone was created after the 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Otsuchi, Japan, and has been visited 30,000 times. Since then, replicas have appeared worldwide and enabled grieving people to reflect, connect, and speak their messages for the wind to carry.What do you think? Would this be a helpful grief tool for you?<a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Grief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Grief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefAndLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefAndLoss</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefSupport" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefSupport</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefTools" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefTools</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WindPhone" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WindPhone</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Funeral" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Funeral</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Memorial" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Memorial</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Mourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Mourning</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Bereavement" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Bereavement</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Workplace GriefDo you spend more time with your coworkers than your own family? Sometimes we establish close bonds with our colleagues. At the very least, their mood and performance have a direct impact on our own. What happens when a coworker experiences a loss and throws the workplace into upheaval?Here are a few things to consider.- Don't judge the severity of a loss based on degree of kinship. As in, don't expect them to bounce back quickly because it was "just" a cousin or "just" a former spouse. You don't know how close they may have been or what responsibilities are now theirs.- Family Leave and PTO are woefully insufficient for someone to handle the affairs AND recover from grief. Really, four days off is supposed to cut it? Grief experts recommend a MINIMUM of 20 days. Unfortunately some people are forced back to work way before they're ready, either because their time off is gone or their bills are piling up. They may have to pay out of pocket for funeral expenses or suddenly have their household income reduced by half.- Adjust your expectations. Just because someone is physically present at work doesn't mean they're mentally present. Exhaustion, stress, the inability to focus, and a wide range of emotions will interfere with their performance. Obviously! They might hyper focus for a while to keep busy, only to break under the workload as their brain fog renders them useless. Coworkers should strive to understand that it isn't a personal failing, and that picking up the slack without resentment is the greatest kindness they can offer.- Offer support while respecting privacy. Avoid empty offers ("if there's anything I can do, let me know") and empty platitudes ("I know how you feel... he's in a better place.") Instead of asking, "how are you doing?" ask "how is today?" Give them an opportunity to talk and just listen. Find out what they want you to say to others ("she had a loss in the family and will return calls next week.") <a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Grief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Grief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Coworkers" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Coworkers</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Workplace" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Workplace</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WorkplaceCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WorkplaceCulture</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WorkFriends" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WorkFriends</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WorkSpouse" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WorkSpouse</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/FamilyLeave" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FamilyLeave</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WorkplaceGrief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WorkplaceGrief</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Mourning AnimalsYou've heard of mourning doves (so-named because of their melancholic coo), but did you know there's also a mourning warbler (a bird that looks like it's wearing a mourning veil) and a mourning *GECKO* (their nightly vocalizations were once interpreted as mourning the lack of male mates in the entirely female species - true story)?!That's not what we're talking about today though. We're talking about wild animals that grieve the loss of their herd/pack mates.Scientists have long refused to consider whether animals grieve since it's assumed that grief requires an understanding of life and death. It's also easy to anthropomorphize animals, which is to say that we assign them human characteristics and emotions.However, scientists are finally opening up to the idea. Innovations in testing and monitoring have revealed new information. Here are some behaviors they've observed in various species, specifically ones known for forming social bonds.- Cetaceans (whales, dolphins, porpoises) often carry or push their dead in the water to keep them close or afloat, especially after the loss of a calf. It's awkward and tiring, going against self preservation instincts for no clear purpose.- Elephants spend time visiting with and touching their dead. Touching allows them to investigate, but they also spend time standing around the body without touching. They return over time to visit the skeletal remains. A study has shown that elephants cry around dead bodies (they produce tears when they're stressed or excited), and their vocalizations change. They can also bury or cover bodies.- Non-human primates (different types of monkeys) gather together, standing watch for days. Dead baby monkeys are carried and mothers scream. Some become depressed enough to stop eating, starving to death. Chimpanzees can check the body for signs of life, then clean debris from fur and use tools to clean teeth. Baboons have shown higher levels of stress hormones followed by increased grooming behaviors (which stimulates oxytocin to counteract it).- Magpies bring grass to lay by the bodies of their dead.- Giraffes have been seen nudging and guarding dead calves, not eating or drinking. They wrap their necks around each other, almost like a hug.Some animal behavior is attributed to chemical shifts, causing ants and termites to bury their dead. Large groups of crows gather around carcasses, but it's more of an investigatory behavior than grief (a *murder investigation*, if you will). Rather than mourning, they're collecting information and identifying potential threats in the area.It'll be interesting to see science evolve so we can discover how universal mourning really is!<a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Grief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Grief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefAndLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefAndLoss</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Animals" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Animals</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/AnimalGrief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AnimalGrief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Wildlife" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Wildlife</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Funeral" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Funeral</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/AnimalBehavior" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AnimalBehavior</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Mourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Mourning</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Stages of Grief - Expectations vs RealityMost of us are aware of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's DABDA grief model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) and take it to mean "the stages of grief."However... the stages are a collection of anecdotal experiences from dying people, NOT the people grieving! Kubler-Ross studied over 200 terminally ill patients, but amassed a collection of case studies rather than empirical evidence or systematic investigation. Newer studies don't really support her findings.Still, we steadfastly cling to the prescribed grief journey and compare our own experiences to that example of normality. We crave direction and validation in times of emotional upheaval, and following a guideline gives us a lifeline. Otherwise, how do we know if we're grieving "right?"In reality, the grief journey doesn't make linear stops. It's a mishmash of conflicting emotions, like a rollercoaster that sometimes goes forward, sometimes goes backward, and sometimes falls off the rails completely. Judging your experience by the metrics of societal expectations will lead you to believe that you're failing at grieving properly. Don't do that.Instead, get to know the variety of emotions that may pass through you while you navigate your loss. Accept them as normal and valid, then let them go. If any particular feeling becomes overwhelming and you're unable to cope, you're allowed to ask for guidance, counseling, support groups etc. No one's grief will be the same as yours, so don't compare! Grieve on your own timeline and whatever way suits your needs.<a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Grief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Grief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/StagesOfGrief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#StagesOfGrief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefAndLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefAndLoss</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Emotions" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Emotions</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Death" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Death</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/MentalHealth" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MentalHealth</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/ElisabethKublerRoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ElisabethKublerRoss</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/OnDeathAndDying" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OnDeathAndDying</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefTips" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefTips</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefSupport" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefSupport</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: The Rainbow Bridge PoemIf you've ever had a pet, you're probably familiar with this poem. It's the go-to condolence for animal lovers. If you're not in the know, it's a poem that's been featured all the way from Dear Abby to every veterinarian's office ever. It describes animals "crossing the bridge" into a super awesome meadow. Their youth, health, and mobility are restored, and they spend their days romping about together. They're fantastically happy, but for one thing: they miss their person.Eventually, a day comes when the pet sees a familiar figure in the distance. They break from the pack, running to tackle their person with vigor, then escort them across the bridge. Everybody cries.For years, the poem has been credited as Anonymous or Unknown. Worse, several people have claimed authorship. A writer of pet cemetery books (no, not that Pet Sematery book) recently tracked down the original author. She was astonished to learn that her words had been famous for decades. She still has the first handwritten draft, completed after the family dog died in 1959.Edna Clyne-Rekhy, an 82 year old artist and animal lover, lives in Scotland. She was only 19 when her dog, Major, died in her arms. Prompted by her deep grief, Edna's mother suggested she write down her feelings. Those words have brought comfort to millions of pet lovers ever since.<a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/RainbowBridge" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#RainbowBridge</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/TheRainbowBridge" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#TheRainbowBridge</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/CrossingTheRainbowBridge" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#CrossingTheRainbowBridge</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/PetLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#PetLoss</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/PetGrief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#PetGrief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefPoems" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefPoems</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Veterinarian" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Veterinarian</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/EdnaClyneRekhy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#EdnaClyneRekhy</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/OriginalAuthor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OriginalAuthor</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: How to Help Pets Grieve (because they do!)Pets can grieve the loss of a human or furry friend. Sometimes it's because they miss their buddy, but they're also sensitive to disruptions in routine and pack dynamics. Watch for changes in personality, appetite, bathroom habits, grooming, vocalization, and sleep. Some pets get clingy while others withdraw. Some hide. Some search for their missing loved one. Help guide your little companion through their grief journey with these tips:- Maintain familiar routines and schedules when possible (meals, walks, playtime bedtime). Familiarity is comforting.- Provide new treats and toys for mental stimulation and distraction. Explore a new place. Teach them a new trick. Try something different or challenging.- Give extra attention and affection, but be careful not to reward or reinforce unwanted behavior. Ignore whining and pacing, but then lavish love and calmness on them when they're not acting out. Be cautious about punishing bad behavior (destruction, soiling), as it may create additional fear and anxiety.- Your pet will pick up on your own grief and stress. Speak in a calm, happy voice to reassure them, even if you're sad. You might feel like pouring out your emotions on your pet to avoid unleashing them on others, but it's distressing to them. Watch what vibes you're putting out.- If possible, let your pet see/smell their buddy's body to help them understand. If it's an animal friend in a euthanasia situation, ask your vet what they recommend. If it's a human friend, you might be able to make arrangements for the pet to visit the mortuary.- Be patient while your pets establish a new pack hierarchy. Allow an adjustment period before introducing a new pet. In the meantime, give your pet extra attention or playdates with known animal buddies to alleviate isolation.- While grief is unique with no set timeline, consult a vet about excessive or prolonged changes in behavior or appetite. They might have an underlying health condition, or may benefit from supplements or actual antidepressant medication.<a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/PetsAndGrief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#PetsAndGrief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefSupport" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefSupport</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Dogs" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Dogs</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Cats" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Cats</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Pets" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Pets</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Death" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Death</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Grief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Grief</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Kids & Pet LossThis is the side of National Love Your Pet Day that no one wants to face. With love comes grief and loss, especially for our little buddies with shorter life spans.One of the hardest things a parent has to do is tell their child their beloved pet is dying or has died. It's human nature to try and protect them from such pain, but handling the situation with care and honesty helps equip children with the tools and proper mindset to handle "bigger" deaths later in life. As long as you use age appropriate language, there's no reason why young children shouldn't be told about death.I have a whoooole long blog post about talking to children about death and grief, but here are some of the quick highlights:❌DON'T say the animal was "put to sleep," as children take it literally and misunderstand. They might become afraid of sleep or wonder why their pet isn't waking up.✅DO recognize that they may be more impacted by the death of a pet than a human. Don't guilt or shame them if they show bigger emotions for their pet than for a relative.❌DON'T lie about the pet running away rather than having an honest discussion about death. This can backfire when (not if) the child discovers that you lied. Besides, they'll still feel the pain of loss whether their pet is dead or "missing."✅DO share your own feelings and show children what healthy grief looks like. Model coping mechanisms, share memories, and maybe work together to create a scrapbook or other memorial keepsake.For my comprehensive guide to kids and grief, visit: <a href="https://www.louisepachella.com/blog/kidsandgrief" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.louisepachella.com/blog/kidsandgrief</a>For an article specifically about kids and pet loss, visit: <a href="https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/pet-death.html" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/pet-death.html</a><a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/NationalLoveYourPetDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#NationalLoveYourPetDay</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Petstagram" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Petstagram</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/PetLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#PetLoss</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/PetGrief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#PetGrief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/KidsAndPets" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#KidsAndPets</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefSupport" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefSupport</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefAndLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefAndLoss</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Mass casualty disasters and funeralsWhen a natural disaster or terrorist attack affects a large population, care and resources are divided between the living and the dead. Much of the relief efforts are spent feeding and sheltering survivors.Another crucial aspect of disaster relief is caring for the dead. Unfortunately for bereaved families, the quick identification and disposition of bodies takes precedence over traditional funeral rituals. In the aftermath of the recent earthquake that devastated Turkey and Syria, many families are having to forgo the ritual washing of their dead and the gathering of friends and families to mourn together. Instead, officials are expediently recording deaths, identifying the dead (or saving fingerprints and blood samples), and marking the locations of graves for relatives to find later. Strangers in nearby tents are cleansing and shrouding bodies for burial in trenches. Decomposing or heavily damaged bodies are unable to undergo traditional preparation and receive token measures instead. As the death toll rapidly approaches 40,000, the procession of body bags to the cemeteries seems never ending. There is no time to waste, both because bodies are decomposing and because Muslim burials are supposed to occur within 24 hours of death.Survivors may suffer from complicated and prolonged grief from the additional trauma and lack of closure. Some may never receive confirmation of their loved one's death and are condemned to a lifetime of searching. With the local infrastructure destroyed, a return to normalcy will a long time coming. The long-term effects of mass casualty disasters on the grieving process are still being studied, but it's clear there will be a significant impact. <a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/ComplicateGrief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ComplicateGrief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/ProlongedGrief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ProlongedGrief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/NaturalDisaster" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#NaturalDisaster</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Earthquake" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Earthquake</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/MassCasualty" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MassCasualty</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Funeral" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Funeral</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Don't forget to check on your grieving friends long after the funeral!Support dries up in the weeks and months following a funeral, but that's often when the bereaved needs it the most.Set reminders to periodically check in with your grieving friends, especially around special occasions, holidays, and anniversaries. Let them know you're there for the long haul and that their ongoing grief matters to you. This isn't a "do it once and check off the box" task. Continue to reach out. Continue to invite them to participate in activities (even if you're pretty sure they'll decline). Continue to mention their loved one's name and give them permission to talk. All too often, friends walk on eggshells not wanting to cause further grief, but the grieving person actually WANTS to talk about their loved one! Give them the space to do that with you.Not sure how to jump back in after a long absence? Take a hint from <a href="https://c.im/tags/NationalSendACardToAFriendDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#NationalSendACardToAFriendDay</a> tomorrow and mail them an actual card. It's something they can hold on to and it can be even more meaningful arriving long after the other condolences have stopped. Don't second guess. Just do it. Need some tips on what to write? The lovely folks at What's Your Grief have you covered here: <a href="https://whatsyourgrief.com/how-to-write-a-sympathy-card/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://whatsyourgrief.com/how-to-write-a-sympathy-card/</a><a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/NationalSendACardToAFriendDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#NationalSendACardToAFriendDay</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/SendACardToAFriendDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#SendACardToAFriendDay</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefSupport" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefSupport</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Grief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Grief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/SympathyCard" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#SympathyCard</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Condolences" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Condolences</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Grieving = ExhaustingWhy does grief make you tired and weak, as if suffering from a flu-like physical ailment?- Insomnia, possibly from anxiety or changes to your routine. Your circadian rhythm is off. - Sleeping too much, which ironically makes you more tired. Your bed is warm and safe and allows you to avoid dealing with your problems. The "can't-get-out-of-bed" feeling is often associated with depression. Naps can affect your nighttime sleep too. - Bad dreams (self explanatory). - Your mind is perpetually in overdrive navigating regular responsibilities plus new tasks and emotions. Having a completely full brain (or an entirely empty and numb brain) is emotionally exhausting. - You're in a state of hypervigilance (fight or flight), which is meant for short bursts or else it taxes your nervous system. This response to trauma may help in the moment, but it's not a sustainable state for your body. You may have PTSD-like responses and live in fear of being triggered. The anticipation is exhausting. - You become hyper-independent, doing everything on your own without asking for or accepting help. You're taking on too much, planning a funeral, settling an estate, plus grieving and attempting to keep your "normal" life on track. - You're not caring for your body or you're using unhealthy coping mechanisms. Eating only comfort food/not eating at all, avoiding physical activity, not drinking enough water, and consuming too much caffeine or alcohol all affect your energy level.How can you fix this?A lengthy to-do list can feel too daunting to tackle. Instead, take small, simple steps. Keep your goals realistic. Can you get your body moving for a few minutes a day? Can you eat better foods at better intervals? Can you try to limit caffeine/alcohol? Can you delegate some tasks? Can you maintain good sleep hygiene (limit your screen time and optimize your sleep environment)?It's okay to seek additional help (supplements, sleep aids, therapy). If you've been suffering for a long time or you feel you have no solutions, speak to a doctor or professional. Grief physically affects the human body! <a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Grief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Grief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefSupport" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefSupport</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefTips" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefTips</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/MentalHealth" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MentalHealth</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Exhausted" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Exhausted</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: 9 New Year's Resolutions for Grievers Everyone around you is brimming with hope, inspiration, and vigor as we start a fresh, new year... but you're not feeling it. If you've suffered a loss, the new year may feel daunting instead of uplifting. Here are some ways to tackle it one day at a time:(courtesy of "What's Your Grief" with some thoughts of mine mixed in)1. Go easy on yourself - forget goals, time deadlines, and the pressure to return to normalcy quickly2. Spend time with people you like - try not to withdraw into isolation, but it's okay to avoid unsupportive people3. Engage in one hobby or activity that makes you feel good - anything you do for YOU will give you self satisfaction and an outlet for expression (bonus points for being physically active, though focus on the way movement makes your body and mind feel instead of adopting exercise as a weight loss regimen) 4. Be honest about how you feel - again, don't rush to return to normalcy and pretend that you're "better"5. Speak your loved one's name - don't be shy or worried about saying their name; encourage others to say the name too (they might be avoiding it for fear of upsetting you - give them permission)6. Embrace one of your loved one's values, hopes, or dreams - honor their legacy by continuing to pursue something they started or cared deeply about7. Support someone else - of course you ought to wait until you're ready, but helping someone through their loss can be tremendously satisfying and show you how much you've progressed along your own grief journey8. Plan opportunities for remembrance - from scholarships and 5ks to scrapbooks and journaling, you can continue to recognize and celebrate your loved one9. Seek formal support - whether your loss was recent or not, you can choose to find a support group or counselor to help you get "unstuck" on your grief journeyRead the original article at <a href="https://whatsyourgrief.com/8-new-years-resolutions-for-grievers/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://whatsyourgrief.com/8-new-years-resolutions-for-grievers/</a> (and buy their amazing new book!)<a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefAndLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefAndLoss</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefSupport" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefSupport</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefTips" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefTips</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WhatsYourGrief" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WhatsYourGrief</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/NewYear" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#NewYear</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/NewYearsResolution" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#NewYearsResolution</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/DeathPositive" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#DeathPositive</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefCounseling" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefCounseling</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefTherapy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefTherapy</a>

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://mas.to/@krassina" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@krassina</a> I’ve been doing some on my own but I don’t mind if others want to get in on them too: <a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WordyWednesday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WordyWednesday</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/FuneralFactFriday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FuneralFactFriday</a> (which could alternately become <a href="https://c.im/tags/FunFactFriday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FunFactFriday</a> ).

His & Hearse Press<a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>: Weeping Willow Often found in cemeteries (planted or engraved on gravestones) and used to symbolize mourning. Their drooping branches evince sadness. Rain running down their leaves gives the appearance of crying. They also represent adaptability and resilience. Their flexibility allows them to weather storms, and their hardiness helps them survive and regenerate. Also associated with resurrection, immortality, and life after death. Note: There are additional interpretations of weeping willow symbolism. Asian cultures attach significance to the trees, and there are also a number of Biblical meanings. Tl;dr, weeping willows aren’t just for sadness and death!<a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Symbolism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Symbolism</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Cemetery" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Cemetery</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Gravestone" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Gravestone</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Engraving" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Engraving</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WeepingWillow" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WeepingWillow</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Trees" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Trees</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Mourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Mourning</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/GriefAndLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GriefAndLoss</a>

His & Hearse PressLooking to follow people with startlingly unusual content? That's me!I'm a funeral director and embalmer turned writer and educator. I love teaching others about dead bodies and funerals, but in a light and easy to understand way. I want to help mitigate fear and stigma through open discussion. Ask me anything! (Bonus: if you're a writer, I can totally help set your scenes and ensure accuracy!)I try to share themed posts like <a href="https://c.im/tags/MondayMourning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MondayMourning</a>, <a href="https://c.im/tags/WordyWednesday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WordyWednesday</a>, and <a href="https://c.im/tags/FuneralFactFriday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FuneralFactFriday</a>. I also love books, memes, cats, dogs, dinosaurs, trash cats, welding, and demolition derby driving.So I'm a bit all over the place, but guaranteed to be one of the most interesting people around!<a href="https://c.im/tags/HisAndHearsePress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HisAndHearsePress</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/FollowFriday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FollowFriday</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/FollowBackFriday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FollowBackFriday</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/NiceToMeetYou" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#NiceToMeetYou</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Funeral" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Funeral</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/FuneralDirector" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FuneralDirector</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Embalmer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Embalmer</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Mortician" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Mortician</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/MortuaryScience" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MortuaryScience</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/DeathPositive" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#DeathPositive</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Author" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Author</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Writer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Writer</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/WritingCommunity" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WritingCommunity</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Catstodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Catstodon</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Dogstodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Dogstodon</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Bookstodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Bookstodon</a> <a href="https://c.im/tags/Bookwyrm" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Bookwyrm</a>

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