Dusty<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://tech.lgbt/@nina_kali_nina" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>nina_kali_nina</span></a></span> I've been using <a href="https://autistics.life/tags/XMPP" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>XMPP</span></a> for the last year or so, wondering if the halcyon ICQ days of yore are still to be had.</p><p>After testing it with several friends connecting to my own self-hosted <a href="https://autistics.life/tags/Prosody" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Prosody</span></a> server, here's what I found:</p><p>- Yes it all works, on all XMPP clients. But MacOS/iPadOS/iOS clients are not all that mature at this time. The <a href="https://autistics.life/tags/Linux" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Linux</span></a> (<a href="https://autistics.life/tags/Gajim" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Gajim</span></a>, despite no video or audio calls) and <a href="https://autistics.life/tags/Android" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Android</span></a> (<a href="https://autistics.life/tags/Conversations" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Conversations</span></a>) XMPP clients are the best, IMHO. Always favor those, I say, and they are confidently installable and reliable today.<br>- Yes, use OMEMO encryption on personal chats. But when it comes to group chats, OMEMO is not necessarily the right move.<br>- If you don't need privacy in an XMPP group, then don't create a private group, but rather a _public_ group (the safer choice for reliability of message delivery). No OMEMO is possible in a public group, and the messages propagating around will be reliable, even to clients who vanish and re-appear after prolonged absences.<br>- If you really need OMEMO encryption in a group chat, create a _private_ group, not a public group. **Clients who vanish from the group for prolonged periods may miss out on some of the messages when they return (say, a few weeks later)**.<br>- I kept a wiki with several more quirks noted, which came up, and felt confusing and frustrating to my (non-geek) friends using XMPP.</p><p>As to your Apple-ecosystem-confined friends, at this moment in time, maybe talk to them 1:1 in <a href="https://autistics.life/tags/Fluffychat" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Fluffychat</span></a>/Matrix, which affords encryption, and is all <a href="https://autistics.life/tags/OpenSource" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OpenSource</span></a>, like everything above. (Groups in <a href="https://autistics.life/tags/Matrix" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Matrix</span></a> have a track record of failing for everybody in them very badly every 2 or 3 years or so.)</p>